#375 - 3 REASONS I HATE BEING A POINT LEADER

In my lifetime, I have been given the opportunity of being the "point-leader" (the buck stops with me) of a group, business, or organization on several occasions. To give you an idea of the range of point leadership experiences I've had, along with my age at the time, here is a short list:

1. 8th Grade Class President (12)

2. Christian Club President (15)

3. Sunday School Director (20) 

4. PPLSI Area Coordinator (22) 

5. Non-Profit Organization Executive Director (25) 

6. High School Ministry Director (27) 

7. Lead Pastor (30) 

Throughout the years, though there have been many things that I love about point leadership, I have come to absolutely hate (I know hate is a strong word, but it best describes how I feel!) three things in particular:

1. THE RESPONSIBILITY IS HEAVY

As the point leader, no one feels and experiences the weight of responsibility for the success and effectiveness of the organization like we do. No one is as burdened with seeing the mission and vision of the organization come to fruition as we are. No one feels more accountable for the results of the organization, whether bad or good, than we do.

I hate that the responsibility is heavy because the weight of it is something that never changes! There is absolutely nothing I can do to feel less responsible, I'm the leader! All I can do is learn to carry the weight of responsibility more effectively. 

2. THE CRITIQUE IS RELENTLESS

As a point leader, no one is more of a target for criticism, blame, and flat out hate than we are. No one experiences the onslaught of "feedback" of things we can be doing better, things we could be doing more of, and things we should be doing less! No one is confronted by the never ending opinions (which are often times right!) of the things that need to be changed for the organization to reach its' full potential than us.

I hate that the critique is relentless because, many times, it just hurts! The manner in which many people go about the matter of providing feedback is, often times, insensitive, untimely, and rude.

I also hate that the critique is relentless because, whether people know it or not, point leaders are just as relentless about improving as their critics are at communicating what needs to be improved! So every time a new critique comes, the point leader has another thing to add to his already long list of things he's working to make better!  

3. THE FAILURE IS DEVASTATING

As a point leader, no one is more negatively affected by missed goals and missed opportunities than we are. No one is more saddened by ways in which the organization failed or let people down than we are. Whether it is with staff, members, customers, or potential clients, no is more crushed by an organizations inability to meet expectations than the point leader. When something the organization intends to do doesn't get done, it is the point leader who is most discouraged by missing the mark.

I hate that failure is devastating because organizational failure is an inescapable reality! Every time an organization tries something new, the potential for failure is present. On my best day, the devastation of failure cannot be avoided, it can only be managed.

What does this mean for you? 

With an awareness of the three things I hate about being a point-leader in mind, here are three recommendations: 

1. Pray for your leader.  We could definitely use it! I don't think there is a point-leader alive who would not readily receive your prayers for them!

2. Extend grace to your leader. We are going to let you down. We are going to disappoint you. Being a point-leader gives us no excuse to fail you, but when we do, grace is much appreciated!

3. Evaluate your desire to be a point leader. Are you prepared for heavy responsibility? Are you ready for relentless critique? Can you handle devastating failure? Though Jesus may have been talking about following Him, I think these words are wise as we evaluate our desire to lead others, "But don't begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?" (Luke 14:28 NLT)

#374 - A MORE WORTHY PURSUIT THAN SUCCESS

Ever since I can remember, there has been one word that has driven me. Many desires have shifted and waned throughout the years, but my goal to achieve this has not. When nothing else could motivate me, this word did.

SUCCESS. 

Financial success. Relational success. Educational success. Occupational success. Social success. Spiritual success. Marital success. Physical success. I want to be successful in every area of my life. 

Now though there might not be anything inherently wrong with desiring success in each of these areas of my life, what I have found to be a problem is defining what success actually is for each of these areas of my life!

The definition of success, for all of these areas, seems to be an ever-changing, ever-increasing, unattainable, elusive target.

There's always more money I can earn, save, and invest. There's always more and deeper friendships I can develop. There's always more degrees I can earn. There's always more accolades I can earn on the job. There's always more influence I can gain. There's always more of an understanding that I can have of my faith. There's always more of a sacrifice that I could be making in my marriage. There's always more weight that I can lose and more muscle that I can gain!

And when I look at it this way, it's easy to get discouraged because it seems like "success" then becomes impossible to achieve.

I so badly want to cross the "finish line" in each of these areas of my life, but I have no idea where the finish line is! I so desperately I want to "ascend to the peak" of each of these areas of my life, but from where I'm standing there is no peak in sight! I so anxiously want to "complete the assignment" that I have been given for each of these areas of my life, but I don't ever remember receiving any actual instructions!

So what have I done to deal with my strong desire for something I have, for so long, struggled to define?

I QUIT.

I quit pursuing success. I quit desiring success. I quit envisioning success. 

Instead, I have chosen another word to drive me. I've chosen another word to motivate me to my full potential. I've chosen another word by which I will measure the quality of my life.

OBEDIENCE. 

Day by day. Hour by hour. Moment by moment obedience to God's will for my life. This  is my desire. 

As it relates to every area of my life, the key question is, "Am I being obedient?" 

Am I doing what God is requiring me to do?  Am I saying what God is leading me to say? Am I going where God is commanding me to go?

Am I being obedient to God's will? Am I being submitted to God's Word? Am I being cooperative with God's way? 

These are the questions that matter to me now.  

I'm resolved.

I'm going to concern myself with my obedience, and let God concern Himself with my "success."

#373 - 11 YEARS MARRIED. 11 LESSONS LEARNED.

Today my wife and I celebrated our 11-Year Wedding Anniversary. I am so blessed and grateful for the love that we've been able to share thus far, but in an effort to make the next 11 years of our marriage even more harmonious and enjoyable than the first 11, I figured it would be wise to reflect upon the primary lessons I've learned about marriage during the time we have spent together so far as husband and wife. 

1. Selfishness Separates

The times when I have felt most disconnected from my wife is when I have been thinking and acting selfishly. It's very hard to be connected to someone you're not thinking about. In other words, whenever selfishness is present, intimacy is absent. 

2. Finances Frustrate

Marriage and money "issues" go hand in hand. It's not a matter of "if" money will become an issue, it's a matter of how big of an issue will we allow it to become? Matthew 6:25-34 has become particularly helpful with this. Here are the Cliff's Notes: "Do not worry."

3. Patience Prevails

So many arguments, disagreements, and frustrations can be avoided by exercising patience in the midst of tension and uncertainty. Patient, thought through responses trump impulsive, knee jerk reactions. Always. 

4. Purpose Points

In the times when I am confused about the trajectory that our marriage is on, it is the purpose of marriage that always points me back in the right direction.  The purpose of our love for each other is to become a visible representation of God's love for the world.

5. Experiences Enhance

Very few things have strengthened our marriage like our intentional effort to create new memories through fresh and unique shared experiences. The quickest way for your marriage to feel old is to eliminate trying things that are new!

6. Occupations Occupy

Our responsibility to work our jobs can very easily begin to take precedence over our responsibility to love each other. If we are not intentional about disconnecting ourselves from our work, our work will disconnect us from our marriage.

7. Surprises Satisfy

Surprise gifts. Surprise dates. Surprise plans. Surprise cards. A well thought out surprise can showcase the intentionality, ingenuity, and interest you have for your marriage in a way that the same ol' executed routine, many times, just can't do.

8. Actions Accentuate

Being that I'm a guy who talks for a living, my wife is not impressed by the words I use to express my love. She doesn't want to hear me love her, she wants to see me love her. She doesn't care about what I say , she cares about what I show !

9. Laughter Lifts

If I want to gauge how healthy my marriage is, all I have to do is pay attention to how often we are laughing together. No laughter. No love. If laughter is not lifting your marriage up, it is very likely that taking yourself too seriously is bringing your marriage down. 

10. Community Contributes

Our marriage was not meant to be lived out in isolation. Having a community of people around us who can share in the ups and downs of our marital journey is a necessity. I strongly believe that our ability to "go the distance" in our marriage has much to do with being surrounded by a community of people committed to seeing us "go the distance" in our marriage!

11. Humility Honors 

One of the greatest ways I can show honor to my wife is to admit when I've messed up, made a mistake, and missed the mark as a husband. Nothing else reveals a lack of honor for my wife than a habitual display of my pride. 

This is by no means an exhaustive list of all the things I've learned, but I am confident that as I take the lessons above to heart, our marriage will continue to grow stronger as the years go by! 

Please let me know in the comments below what marital lessons you have learned. I sure could use the help! 

#372 - THE MOST PAINFUL PART OF PASTORING

Over the last five years that I've been involved in pastoral ministry, though there have been many times where I have experienced absolute joy, though there have have been many instances where I have been in utter amazement, and though there have been many occasions where I could do nothing else but stand in awe of God for the opportunity that he's given me...there have also been seasons of tremendous amounts of pain.

The pain of unreached goals. The pain of umet expectations. The pain of unresolved conflict. The pain of dissatisfied guests. The pain of disinterested attendees. The pain of disengaged members. The pain of poor systems. The pain of ineffective processes. The pain of inconsistent execution.

All of these pains have hurt.  

They have caused me heartache, they have led to sleepless nights, and on several occasions, they have even led me to seriously consider quitting.  

But none of the pains have hurt, hindered, or haunted me like the pain of...

Watching people choose to do things their way instead of God's way.

Financially. Relationally. Vocationally. Educationally. Physically. 

To see people either consciously or unconsciously allow the desires of their flesh to displace the will of the Spirit absolutely crushes me.

Now, by no means do I believe that I get it right all the time, but to watch someone you love, care for, and are invested in get it wrong is devastating.  

Not only does their wrong choice pain me, but what pains me even more is to watch them struggle through the negative consequences of their choice. 

The truth is, going into the ministry, I grossly underestimated the emotional impact that pastoring people would have on me. I wrongly assumed that I would be able to disconnect myself from situations in time for me not to be so adversely affected.

So how am I learning to cope? So why have I not decided to quit? So how have I come to the resolution to continue? 

I SEE JESUS. 

I am so thankful that in the midst of my pain, the Holy Spirit has empowered me to look to the cross of Jesus Christ to see the Son of God suffering a pain that I will never understand so that I can be reassured that He knows the pain I'm going through and, more importantly, so I can be confident He is with me in that pain.  Shepherding me as I shepherd.

I must remember, I am just an undershepherd. Christ is the Chief Shepherd, and it is His voice, not mine, that will ultimately bring the strays home!   

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand." John 10:27-28

#371 - THE ONLY THING THAT LASTS

"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of God will stand forever." Isaiah 40:8

Dear Heavenly Father,

With so many things around me that are temporary, with so many things that attract me that will not last, with so many things vying for my attention that absolutely will not satisfy, I desire to hunger and thirst for your Word more than anything else in this world. 

Grow in me an enduring yearning to seek, consume, and understand your Word, your precepts, and your truth. Grow in me an insatiable desire to hide your Word in my heart. Grow in me constant hunger for the Bread of Life.

Your Word will outlast kingdoms. Your Word will outlast political offices. Your Word will outlast regimes.

Your Word will remain when fads and fashions fade away. Your Word will stand when false ideals and ideologies fall. Your Word will continue when the lives of those who speak lies are finished. 

Your Word is everlasting. Your Word is enduring. Your Word will stand forever.

Give me the wisdom, O Lord, to seek the eternal over the temporal. Give me the courage to pursue the permanent over the temporary. Give me the understanding to know that what you have already spoken is far more valuable and will far outlast anything man will ever speak.

I pray all of this in Jesus name, Amen. 

#370 - I SENSE THIS AND I MUST TAKE ADVANTAGE

Sometimes it can feel like an unexplainable force. Sometimes it can feel like an unmerited gift. Sometimes it can feel like an undeniable advantage. 

Sometimes it can come as a result of hard work. Sometimes it can come as a result of good luck. Sometimes it can come as a result of changing circumstances. 

But when it does come, it is powerful. It is unrelenting. It is contagious. It can change the game. It can turn the tide. It can flip the script. 

It renews confidence. It recharges energy. It reinvigorates passion.  

MOMENTUM. 

I currently sense it in most areas of my life. Spiritually. Emotionally. Mentally. Vocationally. Financially. Relationally. Physically.

I feel a wind of momentum propelling me forward, and I am so grateful. 

New people. Fresh attitudes. Unexpected opportunities. Crystallized vision. Sacrificial commitments. Financial provision.

All of these things are huge factors in the momentum I am currently experiencing, and all I can feel is awe and wonder for this gift of grace that God is bestowing upon me.

I must take advantage. I must ride the wave. I must steward this season well. I must mobilize. I must envision. I must act. Because, if there's one thing I know about momentum, it is this,

it doesn't last forever.