#338 - ONE LAST VACATION IS NECESSARY

A transition is coming.

In a little over two weeks, the pace and rhythm of my life will change drastically. On Sunday, September 15 we will launch theMOVEMENT, and the biggest implications that this will have on my life are these: every single Sunday from that Sunday forward there will be a weekly service that I am going to be responsible for overseeing, a 35-40 minute message that I am going to be responsible for preaching and a congregation of people who I am going to be responsible for shepherding.

I don't think I am even fully aware of the impact that this change is going to have on my life.

But I do know this...one last vacation is necessary!

One last getaway with my wife before the expectations that people have of us shift. One last trip with my wife before the responsibilities that I have increase. One last vacation with my wife before the luxury of taking a Sunday off will no longer be an option (at least any time soon)!

It is with all of this in mind that I have made the decision that on this vacation,

I am not going to do any work.
I am not going to do any writing.
I am not going to engage with social media.

Instead,

I'm going to rest.
I'm going to relax.
I'm going to rejuvenate.

I'm going to learn more about my wife.
I'm going to enjoy the company of my wife.
I'm going to experience new things with my wife.

In addition to celebrating our birthdays and our 9-year anniversary, together, we're going to think through how in this next season of our lives we're going to grow our personal relationships with Christ, take care of our health, grow our marriage and lead this church in such a way that is healthy and sustainable over a long period of time.

Because the big idea is simply this: It is an impossibility for unhealthy leaders to lead anything in a healthy way. 

#337 - IT'S HARD TO TELL THE TRUTH

Telling the truth is not always the easiest thing for me to do.

Especially when it comes to telling others the truth about my personal mistakes and shortcomings and telling the truth to others about their mistakes and shortcomings.

It's much easier to avoid.
It's much easier to pretend.
It's much easier to sugar coat.
It's much easier to exaggerate.
It's much easier to...lie.

But, though lying (even little white lies) may be easier in the short-run, I'm realizing more and more that it isn't beneficial in the long run.

Lies destroy trust. Lies divide people. Lies dilute reality.

Lies create an inaccurate perception.
Lies foster an unauthentic relationship.
Lies result in an unhealthy environment.

But though I may be aware of the consequences of lying, it's still very difficult at times to tell the truth. There is a perceived image that I have the desire to protect. There is a perceived persona that I have the desire to uphold. There is an unhealthy desire to be accepted by others. There is an unhealthy fear that telling the truth may result in a loss of respect or position. And it is all these things in tandem that make truth-telling a challenge.

But I've recently made a very important decision that I hope guides me for the rest of my life, and the decision is this:

I would rather tell the truth leaving it up to God to restore the reputation I once had than tell a lie leaving it up to myself to protect a reputation I no longer deserve.

#336 - I MUST LEAD

Sometimes I shrink back.

I don't want the people I work with to think I have control issues. I don't want our team to feel like I'm micromanaging them. I don't want my staff to feel like I'm overbearing. So I shrink back.

I, often times, look for consensus when no consensus is needed. I, often times, look for feedback when no feedback is necessary. I, often times, look for approval when approval wouldn't add value. I stall. I hesitate. I wait.

And what ends up happening is this:

When I shrink back, the organization slows down.

This has to stop.

I must lead.

I must make the decisions no one else can make. I must think about the things that no one else can think about. I must set the goals that no one else can set. I must develop the plans that no one else can develop. I must do the things that only I can do. I must lead.

I have been called, qualified and commissioned to do this work. I must lead.

There is no doubt that I must lead humbly, patiently and prayerfully, but the fact still remains: I must lead.

By shrinking back from this responsibility, it is not humility that I am showcasing. Instead, I am exhibiting poor stewardship of the calling, gifts and opportunities that I have been given.

In the final analysis, there is only one thing that separates our organization from accomplishing the purpose for which it exists: courageous and effective leadership.

#335 - IT JUST DAWNED ON ME

Today, I had the opportunity of facilitating and executing my very first “Yearly Sermon Series Planning Meeting.” This was a meeting in which I, along with my Executive Pastor and a couple of other leaders in our church, thought through and planned out all of the topics and subjects we will be preaching through December of 2014!

And though having a pretty good idea of what I am going to be preaching about throughout the next year brings me a certain amount of clarity and comfort, after completing the meeting, it dawned on me that I will preach on, approximately, 57 of the next 67 Sundays! That’s crazy!

And then after the thought of how crazy that is crossed my mind, several other thoughts began to race through my head:

Am I adequately qualified to preach about all of these subjects?
Will the church get tired of hearing me week after week after week?
Will I have the ability to make Jesus the hero in every message I preach?
How well will I juggle leading the day to day operations and weekly sermon prep?

Before me lies a responsibility and challenge that I have yet to face in my lifetime, but my peace and confidence rests in the truth that “my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

#334 - I'M UNSURE

I’m not quite sure what to do.

In several weeks, we are going to be officially launching theMOVEMENT. And though this is a day that I’m excited about and have been anticipating for three years, this fact is going to result in responsibilities that I have never had before.

1. I am going to be responsible for leading a team to plan and execute weekly services.

2. I am going to be responsible for disciplining myself to plan and prepare weekly messages.

3. I am going to be responsible for creating systems and processes to engage new people with the mission of our movement.

Now don’t get me wrong, these are all things that I am not only excited about doing, but they are things that I am also being paid to do!

What I am unsure about is whether or not I’m going to attempt to go to school this semester while taking on these new responsibilities.

I have a unique opportunity to go to a school that is accredited, affordable and awesome but, the reality is, I’m not sure I can give the launch of this church my best efforts and energy while taking several college level courses! I am sure that God has called me to lead and plant this church, but I am almost equally sure that God has called me to pursue and complete my B.A. in Pastoral Studies.

What am I to do?

Because I need to make a decision sooner than later, over the next several days I am going to pray the prayer that God has faithfully answered time and time again,

Dear Heavenly Father, please give me the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

#333 - 31 - PART TWO

Today I turned 31 making tomorrow the first day of the 32nd year of my life.

And though last year was, by far, the best year of my life, it is my hope and prayer that this year will be even better.

But for this year to be even better than the last, I must be intentional and focused. With that said, here are three things I'm going to prioritize in my life this upcoming year.

1. Loving Jesus out of a greater understanding of His love for me. This year I want to grow in my understanding of Christ's love for me. I aim to do this by taking my commitment to reading God's Word to another level. It is through a deeper commitment to God's Word that I will come to a greater awareness of who Christ is and how wide His love for me reaches.
    

2. Loving my wife like Christ loved the Church. As I grow in my understanding of Christ love for me and His Church, I will love my wife more deeply and selflessly. It is my intention that by the end of the year, my wife will be able to proudly say that I have loved her like Christ loved the Church more than ever before.
    

3. Taking care of my body out of a greater understanding that it is the only one I will ever have. As I get older, I realize that taking care of my health is more important than ever before. This year, I will make an even greater commitment to my health than I will to the leading of the church. The truth is, I cannot be spiritually healthy leader if I am a physically unhealthy leader.

I look forward to this blog being a home for much of my reflections on how I am living up to these priorities and commitments this upcoming year!

#332 - SAYING "YES" MATTERS

Over the last several years I have continually said, "Yes" to exchanging my hopes and dreams for my life for God's plans and purposes for my life.

I shut down a non-profit organization I had started. I transitioned into full-time vocational ministry. I remained faithful with a student ministry and young adult ministry. I followed through with the decision to plant a church. I built a team to plant with me. I committed to plant in the city of Oakland. I moved to the city of Oakland. I went back to school to complete my BA in Pastoral Studies. I raised an "impossible" amount of funds. And I am currently doing my best to create a church that people who don't like church like to attend.

I'm so glad I have said "Yes."

I could have said "No." I could have made excuses. I could have waited. I could have let the obstacles, setbacks and challenges discourage me. I could have allowed fear to win.

But by the grace of God, I said, "Yes" and I'm so glad that I did! Because tonight, I'm convinced to a degree that I have never been before that:

Every time I say "Yes" to God's will for my life, I am saying "Yes" to God's best for my life!

It's amazing to think that a simple three-letter word could change my life for the better in ways that I could have never imagined.

The challenge that I have before me today is to continue to say "Yes" to God's purposes and plans for my life especially when it would be much more convenient to say...No.

#331 - MY PRAYER ON "THE DAY BEFORE"

With less than 12 hours to go before our third and final preview service my primary prayers are:

• God, speak through me. Give me the sensitivity and awareness to know the words that You want me to say. Give me the boldness and courage to say the words that You want me to say. Give me the wisdom and understanding to say what You want me to say with both conviction and tact. In regards to tomorrow's sermon, may I communicate Your heart with my mouth.
   

• God, allow me and our team to love people and have fun doing it! Help us to love everyone who attends out of the overflow of Your love for us. Help us to serve everyone who attends out of the overflow of how You have served us. Help us to display joy out of the overflow of the joy we have in You!
   

• God, have your way. Send the amount of people Youwant to send. Have the type of impact You want to have. Leave the type impression You want to leave. Do the work in people's hearts that You want to do. In regards to every aspect of tomorrow's service, not my will but Your will be done.

I pray all these things in Your name...

Amen.  

#330 - OUR FIRST SALVATION!

Tonight I stand in awe.

I stand in awe of God's grace and goodness in my life. I stand in awe of the things that God is allowing me to see. I stand in awe of the experiences that God is seeing fit for me to be a part of. I stand in awe of the work that God is empowering me to do.

I stand in awe of how He is leveraging my past fears, faults and failures to honor Him. I stand in awe of how He is using my gifts, talents and abilities to glorify Him. I stand in awe of how He is changing my heart, will and motivations to magnify Him.

God has a mission that He desires to accomplish in the Bay Area and He invites me to join with Him in that mission! God has a work that He desires to do in the hearts of His children and He invites me to partner with Him in that work! God has a love that He desires to reveal to those who are unaware of it and He invites me to help Him reveal that love!

So what was it, exactly, that I got to be a part of this evening that has me in awe?

I got to witness Christ draw a young man towards Him. I got to witness Christ reveal His love to a young man who was seeking to find Him. I got to witness Christ pour out His grace on a young man who desired it.

I was blessed with the joy of seeing a young man set free by the beauty of the good news! I was blessed with the pleasure of seeing a young man experience true joy upon receiving the love of Christ. I was blessed with the opportunity to see a young man trust His life into the hands of Almighty God. 

JESUS SAVES!

And it is that profound truth has me in awe.

#329 - CONNECTION IS CRITICAL

Though our church is only a few days away from our third and final "preview service," today I invested the majority of my day having one-on-one meetings with each of my staff members that had very little to do with this weekend's service.

Instead, I did my best to connect with each staff member relationally. And I'm so glad I did!

Being in tune with their joys, victories, struggles and frustrations as humans is so much more valuable to me than only being in tune with how they are feeling as employees. I want the people who I'm privileged to lead to be convinced that I care more about who they are becoming than what they are doing for the organization. I want them to feel that I care more about the quality of their life than the quality of their work.

This is very important to me.

In other organizations that I've worked for in the past, I have experienced what it was like to work with a boss who only had interest in the value that I brought to the organization and how I could increase that value. And though it is one of my primary responsibilities to do that as well, I believe that truly connecting with each employee in an authentic way is a critical component to employee effectiveness.

Without it, employees are left to feel, what I hope members of our team never feel...used.

#328 - 31 - PART ONE

One week from today I will turn 31 years old, and without a doubt the last 51 weeks of my life have been my best yet.

For the sake of reflection and appreciation to my Heavenly Father, who is the giver of every good gift, here are the top 12 highlights from my 30th year of life:

1. Celebrated 8 years of marriage to my wife Rebekah in Seattle, WA. (September 2012)

2. Ordained as a Pastor and enjoyed watching the Giants win their second World Series in three years! (October)

3. Preached Thanksgiving message at Crossroads entitled, "Realistic Expectations of God." (November)

4. Officiated my first funeral and gave a message entitled "Faith vs. Works" on the last Sunday of the year at Crossroads Church. (December)

5. Moved to Oakland with my wife to start a church from scratch. (January 2013)

6. Led, theRETREAT, a final getaway with my high school students from Exchange. (February)

7. Enjoyed a night of appreciation given by the Exchange High School Ministry. (March)

8. Started job as Lead Pastor of theMOVEMENT church. (April)

9. Completed a fundraising campaign, that brought in over $200,000, to fund the launch of our church. (May)

10. Officiated the wedding of my dear friends Spencer and Lanae Romero and led a team of 70+ volunteers to execute theMOVEMENT's first public service. (June)

11. Hosted theMOVEMENT's second public service at Mills College in Oakland. (July)

12. Privileged to be the camp speaker at Horizon's 2013 Summer Retreat. (August)

I am blessed.

And because I am currently in a season of my life where there are so many unanswered questions and uncertainties, it's refreshing to remind myself of how God has had His hand over me this past year. It's refreshing to recount all of His blessings. It's refreshing to remember how faithful God has been even when, at times, I have been unfaithful.

Reflection is refreshing, and the reality is, I don't have to wait until my birthday every year to wait to be refreshed by reflection!

I can do this any day of the year!

#327 - WORRYING IS WORTHLESS

I’m a bit worried.

There are so many unanswered questions that I have in regards to the future of our young church that I wish I had the answers to.

Who will stay connected to our church when we start meeting weekly? Will the financial resources that we are investing into our marketing pay off? Where will we meet on September 29, when our current venue is not going to be available? When will the financial provision come so that we can continue to do ministry beyond September 1? What is the one thing I need to do to ensure that our church launches in the strongest and healthiest way possible?

In summary, how is this all going to end up working out?

But as much as I’d like to dwell on these questions and know the answers, I understand that worrying about them is worthless.

Worrying doesn’t bring change.
Worrying doesn’t create results.
Worrying doesn’t solve problems.
Worrying doesn’t provide answers.

Worrying is worthless.

I can and should be at peace both now and always because:

Though I may have many unanswered questions, my life and our church is in the hands of the One who has all the answers.

#326 - REST IS REQUIRED

Over the next couple of days, I am going to discipline myself to get some much needed rest.

The last eight consecutive days have been a whirlwind...

• Sunday - Hosted a Comeback Event for theMOVEMENT.  And then took my wife to the ER at midnight and stayed till 5am.
• Monday - Prepared messages for Summer Retreat, and spent time in the hospital with my wife as she had to have an emergency gallbladder surgery and was required to stay overnight.
• Tuesday - Continued to care for my wife as she was released from hospital, and then had a staff meeting that evening.
• Wednesday - Drove to Sonora and gave first of six messages at Summer Retreat.
• Thursday - Woke up at 6am for Counselor's Meeting and then gave two more messages and taught one seminar.
• Friday - Woke up at 6am for Counselor's Meeting and then gave two more messages and two Q&A sessions.
• Saturday - Woke up at 6am for Counselor's Meeting and then gave last message. Drove home from Sonora.
• Sunday - Led a Creative Team meeting for our upcoming sermon series, led a prayer meeting and worked on marketing material.

It has been quite the week!

And though I am fulfilled, satisfied and overjoyed by the privilege that I had to minister in all the ways that I did, I must rest.

Rest is required to relax my mind.
Rest is required to renew my energy.
Rest is required to replenish my strength.

Ultimately, rest is required to remind myself that God is in control and that even though I may not be working, He is.

#325 - JESUS IS THE POINT

Today, I experienced a level of satisfaction that I'm not sure I have ever experienced.

As I walked off the platform after giving my sixth and final talk to a group of middle/high school students at their Summer Retreat, I was confident, in a way that I have never been before, that I had used my opportunity to teach and preach to point the students to Jesus.

In times past, I have preached and pointed people primarily to...

My ideas.
My agenda.
My personality.

But, over the course of the three and a half days with the students, with an intentionality that I have never employed before, I did my best to point them to...

My Savior!

And in doing so, I was filled with joy. I was overcome with contentment. I was inundated by satisfaction. I was reminded that there is nothing else I'd rather do with my life than point people to Jesus.

Jesus is the point of my study.
Jesus is the point of my teaching.
Jesus is the point of my preaching.
Jesus is the point of my preparation.

Jesus is the point, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life finding creative and compelling ways to make the point clear!

#324 - GOD'S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT

Though I may have the title of "Pastor," which brings along with it many assumptions, one thing that you can know for sure is that I am also a sinner.

I fall short of God's perfect standard each and every day.

I can be very prideful in my abilities.
I can be very lustful towards women.
I can be very self-serving in my home.
I can be very envious of others' success.
I can be very greedy in my pursuit of things.

Though I may be a "Pastor," first and foremost, I am a sinner in need of Savior.

But, I am so thankful that I do have a Savior in Jesus Christ!

I have a Savior who's mercies are new every morning.
I have a Savior who's grace covers a multitude of sins.
I have a Savior who's love for me is not behavior-based.

I have a Savior who lived the life I could never live, I have a Savior who died the death I could never die, all so that He could pay the debt that I could never pay!

By grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, in spite of my sin, I can have a relationship with Almighty God, and it is on this night that I want to rest and rejoice in the sufficiency of God's grace for me.

#323 - ENERGIZED BY EXHAUSTION

I just completed my fourth message in 24 hours at the Summer Camp I am speaking at this week, and I am exhausted. 

I am physically, mentally and spiritually drained. 

Physically drained because of the amount of energy and enthusiasm that I put into my messages. Mentally drained because of the the amount of preparation and thought that goes into crafting the messages in a creative and compelling way. And spiritually drained because of the amount of desire and hope that I have for God to move in the hearts of these students in a supernatural way. 

I am exhausted. 

But for some reason I am also very energized.

Energized by the fact that I am giving my best.
Energized by the joy of being able to use my gifts.
Energized by the potential that exists within each student.
Energized by the hope that the message of Jesus Christ provides.
Energized by the privilege of serving the Kingdom of God in this way. 

Energized by exhaustion.

Energized by the fact that, tonight, I will lay my head down knowing that I have done the best that I could to use the gifts that God has given me to point people to Jesus Christ. 

I can't wait to see how God will use this energy He's given me to be a blessing to His people tomorrow!

#322 - PREACHING MAKES ME FEEL HELPLESS

I just got through delivering my first message at a Summer Camp I'm speaking at this week, and though I feel good about how it went, I want to take a moment to share how helpless I feel, often times, when preaching.

I feel helpless in my ability to connect the truths of the ancient Scriptures to a generation that is bombarded with so many other "truths" and "paths." I feel helpless in my ability to cause an individual to make their relationship with God their number one priority. I feel helpless in my ability to help an individual see how unfulfilling the things of this world really are. I feel helpless in my ability to show an individual how fulfilling a relationship with Jesus Christ can really be. I feel helpless in my ability to transform a life by the preaching of the Word of God.

I feel helpless.

But after some thought, I realize I should feel helpless!

Only God can change a life.
Only God can draw a person towards Him.
Only God can reveal to an individual how desperately they need Him.

Only God.

So tonight I remind myself:

Though preaching may bring to light how insufficient I am, preaching also brings to light how sufficient God is. Though preaching may make me aware of how incapable I am, preaching also makes me aware of how capable God is. Though preaching may make me feel helpless in my ability, preaching also makes me feel hopeful in God's ability.

So for the sake of me being able to see God do what only God can do, I'm gonna' continue preaching!

#321 - PREPARATION PRECEDES RELAXATION

Yesterday I invested the majority of my day preparing for a series of six different messages that I have the privilege of giving, this Wednesday through Saturday, at a Summer Camp, for a group of 200+ middle school and high school students.

As the day approaches for me to leave for this camp, many questions cross my mind:

Will the students like me?
Will I make a connection with them?
Will what I preach have a long-term impact?

The thought of preaching to a bunch of students who have no idea of who you are and who are all at various stages in their relationship with God can actually be quite stressful!

But after several weeks of thinking through how I could organize the talks in such a way that would be both creative and compelling, yesterday, it all came together.

The theme of the messages is "STAND UP", the primary text I will be preaching from is the book of Daniel, and it is my hope that by the end of my final talk on Saturday morning I will have answered, for the students, the following question: "How do I stand for what I believe, in a world that doesn't believe?"

But the theme, question and answers to the question didn't just come out of nowhere!

It required much prayer to discover what direction God wanted me to go.
It required a fair amount of study to determine what the text was saying in context.
It required a significant amount of thinking to decide how to tie the six messages together.

But the price of preparation is a price worth paying. My preparation ultimately precedes my relaxation.

My preparation positions me to be able to take a deep breath prior to every message that I give and pray, "Lord, I have done all that I can do to make your message engaging, now you must do what only you can do to make your message transforming."

#320 - RESPONSIBILITY IS HEAVY

I am currently in a season of my life where I have been blessed with great opportunities.

Opportunities to lead.
Opportunities to teach.
Opportunities to create.
Opportunities to impact.
Opportunities to disciple.
Opportunities to pioneer.

I am so thankful for these many opportunities, but with these opportunities comes a responsibility that, often times, is heavy.

The responsibility of effectively leading a brand new church, that impacts a city, can be daunting. The responsibility of creatively preparing messages, that communicate the heart of God, can be overwhelming. The responsibility of wisely handling the resources, that I've been entrusted with, can be intimidating.

And most days, I feel so under-qualified, ill-prepared and un-deserving of the opportunities given and the responsibility that is attached to them.

And though the above may be true, today, I find rest in the following truth:

The same God who gives me the opportunity is with me in the responsibility.

I am not alone in my leading.
I am not alone in my teaching.
I am not alone in my discipling.
I am not alone in my preparing.
I am not alone in my pioneering.
I am not alone in my fundraising. (Thank God for that!)

I do not have to bear the burden of my responsibilities all by myself.

God is with me.

And it is because of that fact that I choose to boldly move forward with every opportunity I am given!

#319 - EXERCISE IS NECESSARY

My 31st birthday is a little over two weeks away and, as each year goes by, I am made more aware of how important it is that I maintain a certain level of physical fitness.

It's depressing to feel myself get short of breath walking up a couple flights of stairs. It's discouraging coming to the realization that certain pants that I own don't fit like they used to. It's disgusting seeing my stomach through my shirt!

And it is with all that in mind that I am also convinced that it is deceiving to think that I can continue to maintain the same unhealthy eating and inconsistent exercise habits and expect myself to get in better shape.

I need to face reality, and stop living in the memory of my past physical accomplishments.

I cannot run half-marathon/marathon distances like I used to.
I cannot play full court basketball for hours on end like I used to.
I cannot lift the amount of weight and do the amount of sets like I used to.

But I can do something about it.

I can play basketball a few times a week.
I can do a few sets of crunches every day.
I can run on the treadmill for 30 minutes every day.

These are the things that I know I can do and these are the things that I know I must do. I will not accept the fact that the days of being in my best physical shape are behind me. Instead, today I resolve to make the 31st year of my life the healthiest year of my life!