#730 - 36 DAYS OFF. 36 GOALS.

I will not go back to work until Tuesday, September 2. (Shout out to the staff/pastoral team/ministry leaders of TheMovement.Church for making this possible!)

This gives me 36 much-needed days to relax, re-evaluate, and refresh myself for another year of life and ministry.

In an effort to steward and maximize these next 36 days well, here are 36 things I’d like to accomplish, experience, and enjoy.

  1. Run 100 miles.

  2. Complete 5/6 weeks of the 100 push-up challenge.

  3. Refrain from drinking any soda.

  4. Limit my use of social media.

  5. Write first draft of an “application commentary” on, at least, the following books of the Bible.

    • 3 John

    • 2 John

    • Philemon

    • Jude

    • Titus

    • 2 Thessalonians

  6. Add at least one pair of Air Jordan’s to my collection!

  7. Add pictures of at least my Air Jordan V’s and VI’s to my AirJCollector IG account.

  8. Finish building Infrared Air Jordan VI and Off-White Air Jordan I lego sets.

  9. Finish Michael Jordan: The Life audiobook on Audible.

  10. Build my Sim City — Graceland to a population of 1,000,000.

  11. Play Red Dead Redemption 2 on Playstation 4.

  12. Help Rebekah put up curtains over the three of our living room windows.

  13. Serve Rebekah around the house in every other way she wants me to serve her!

  14. Get email inbox to ZERO EMAILS.

  15. Create my Fall 2020 Weekly Rhythm.

  16. Sleep in and feel no guilt about doing so.

  17. Enjoy Bass Lake and make memories with the Huang’s.

  18. Enjoy prayer and planning with Pastor Philip Muela.

  19. Take road trip to Houston, Texas.

  20. Re-connect with Pastor Tory Mayo in Austin, Texas.

  21. Visit the YETI Flagship Store in Austin and treat myself, for my birthday, to a YETI backpack.

  22. Visit the Shoe Palace and Nice Kicks in Austin.

  23. Enjoy the Patty Melt at Whataburger!

  24. Meet my newborn baby nephew Saint Gabriel.

  25. Enjoy shooting range with my brother-in-law Chris.

  26. Feast at my favorite restaurant in Houston—Papasito’s!

  27. Have catch up convo with my nephew Dante.

  28. Visit the Grand Canyon.

  29. Re-connect with Pastor Heiden Ratner in Las Vegas, Nevada.

  30. Invest part of my 38th birthday reflecting on God’s goodness in my life.

  31. Enjoy Folsom Lake and make memories with the Paz’s and Doan’s.

  32. Enjoy swimming with Merritt.

  33. Meet and have dinner with Owen’s fiancé Cat and Owen.

  34. Plan a special birthday dinner for my wife and her friends.

  35. Think through/plan a memorable 7-year anniversary service.

  36. Stay sensitive to voice of the Holy Spirit for any unexpected ways in which He would want me to invest my time off.

#729 - A COMPELLING REASON TO CONTINUE

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I am convinced that I will remain alive so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith. - Philippians 1:24

Drained. Taxed. Emotionally empty. These are just the few of the feelings I’m feeling today.

I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread to the calling of being a pastor in a local church. The cumulative impact of the last 10 months has me running on fumes.

But, as I prepare to start a 4-week teaching series through the book of Philippians, I am arrested by Paul’s motivation to continue on in his calling despite his longing to be with Christ.

To help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith.

Like Paul, “I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me.” I really do. I would have no qualms about Jesus taking me home ASAP.

Though Paul felt this way, he said that it was better that he continues to live so that he can help his followers grow. So he can help his followers experience the joy of their faith.

The spiritual growth of those under my care is connected to my staying. The joy of the faith of those under my care is connected to my continuing.

Their progress is connected to my perseverance.

Just. Keep. Swimming.

#728 - 10 MONTHS. 10 REALLY HARD CIRCUMSTANCES.

Last year I had the privilege of enjoying a 3-month sabbatical.

But, when i returned in September of 2019, little did I know, my wife and I would begin the most difficult season of our lives…

1. September: Paz’s Depart from TheMovement.Church.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, the first task awaiting me when I returned from my sabbatical was leading our church through the unexpected departure of my parents and brother from our church. My parents and brother had been a part of the church since we started nearly 7 years ago. This was very difficult.

2. October: Key Leader Arrested for Inappropriately Communicating with Minors on Social Media.

This was devastating. We could’ve never seen this coming. Leading our church, the student ministry that he was a leader in, and his family through this circumstance has been extremely challenging. To this day, he is still in jail awaiting his sentence. I have talked to him weekly over the last 10 months. This has not been easy.

3. November: Two Husbands Cheat on their Wives.

Walking with one couple through reconciliation following an infidelity is tough. Walking with two couples, simultaneously, is very emotionally taxing. Though I praise God that both marriages have been restored, this was exhausting.

4. December: Worship Leader Leaves Church.

For reasons I completely understand, our worship leader and his wife left our church. This was particularly difficult, not only because this was a dear friend, but it also required that I step into his place to lead our music ministry team in the meantime. This was a punch in the gut.

BY THE GRACE OF GOD JANURY AND FEBRUARY BROUGHT LITTLE DIFFICULTY. BUT, JUST AS WE THOUGHT WE HAD TURNED THE CORNER FROM A DIFFICULT FALL OF 2019…

5. March: Covid-19 Strikes.

Transitioning our church to functioning primarily online was no easy task. Preaching into a camera took more out of me physically and emotionally than I expected. Facilitating the various parts of the service then preaching for six weeks in a row literally knocked me out cold. The Wednesday after my fifth week preaching, I found myself on the floor of the church office curled up in a ball like a baby. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t drive home. Not Covid, but a major fever. This was scary.

6. April: Rebekah’s Cancer Doesn’t Suppress. Hysterectomy Is Needed ASAP.

For over a year my wife had been on a cancer suppression medicine in hopes that, if the cancer in her uterus lining was suppressed enough, we could still try having a child naturally. The medicine didn’t work. We had to make the difficult decision for her to get a hysterectomy thus killing our dreams of my wife one day giving birth to a child. This was heart-breaking.

7. May: George Floyd is Murdered.

Leading our church (roughly 20% of which is African-American) through the anger, sorrow, fear, confusion, and conviction of the events surrounding and following the death of George Floyd was a lot to handle. Though we drew a line in the sand during this time to become an unapologetically anti-racist church, the work that it requires is no joke. This was overwhelming.

8. June: Church Office is Robbed.

$6,000+ worth of equipment needed replacing. $10,000+ needed to be invested in securing our office moving forward. $16,000+ in unexpected expenses. We had to livestream Sundays from my iPhone. Quality of our services went down dramatically. This was frustrating.

9. June: Former Pastoral Apprentice Leaves Church.

Prior to this Pastoral Apprentice and his wife leaving, our Pastoral Team had to navigate through conversations with him and the church about why we had chosen not to ordain him as a Pastor. These were not easy. We had a desire for him and his wife to stay at the church despite our decision. They chose not to. I had been very deeply invested into this man’s life, and they had been deeply invested into our church for nearly 3 years. This was sad.

10. June: Leader Who Was Arrested Has Article Written about Him in East Bay Times. His Case Becomes a Federal One.

Leading his family and our church following the details of what he was arrested for becoming public knowledge was not easy. Old wounds were reopened. New wounds developed. The potential for a longer sentence became a reality. This felt like the progress that had been made was reversed.

Though there were many lessons learned over these last 10 months (I do plan about writing about those in the future.), the purpose of this post was not so much to reflect on these circumstances, but to recall them so that i can understand, more clearly, why, on this day, July 2, I feel so…out. of. gas.

#727 - BLESSINGS FROM THE FIRST HALF OF 2020

Though the first 6 months of this year have been challenging, in so many ways, as the second half of 2020 begins today, there are still numerous blessings and experiences from the first half of 2020 that I must praise God for.

January

  • Received a $50,000 gift from the SEND Network to lease an office space for our church.

  • Preached Faith Bible Church Winter Retreat.

  • Preached WALK Church Deepen Conference

February

  • Published my very first book — Only God.

  • Met John Piper.

  • Preached Gateway Chapel.

March

  • Enjoyed Silence & Solitude in Las Vegas with Rebekah.

  • Finished leading 6-week mentoring group through Spiritual Leadership.

  • Baptized Edward Kim.

April

  • Transitioned to #TMCatHome.

  • Launched the Preacher’s Kitchen Podcast.

  • Blessed with 4 weeks off from preaching.

May

  • Rebekah had a successful hysterectomy. Received news she is cancer free!

  • Received love and support from so many church members post-surgery.

  • Enjoyed Last Dance Documentary. Gifted Air Jordan V’s.

  • Convicted to transition church from non-racist to passionately and unashamedly anti-racist.

June

  • Enjoyed quality time with the Huang’s.

  • Enjoyed quality time with my family for Father’s Day.

  • Navigated church towards a greater commitment to anti-racism.

These months have been difficult, no doubt, but God has been gracious. I am so thankful.